Be Good, Don’t Just Look Good - #11
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." – Aristotle
In today’s world, it seems like everyone is focused on looking good. The real question is, are they truly doing good? Social media has only amplified this trend—those who project a curated life often fall short of the character they assume. We polish our exteriors, curate our narratives, and measure success by how seamlessly we appear to be succeeding. But there’s a difference—a stark, often uncomfortable difference—between looking good and being good.
The Harder Path – Being good means doing the right thing when no one is watching. It means standing by your principles when it costs you, choosing the harder path when you know the shortcut will “do”, and staying true to your work even when the results aren’t immediate. It’s about integrity over image, substance over style.
This process won’t be pretty. You will fail. You will pick up scars along the way. But if you don’t give up, you will be better for it.
Early in my career, I was obsessed with looking good to my peers and colleagues. I wanted to do it all and make sure everyone knew I was fully capable. But while I was so worried about what others thought, I wasn’t building real trust—I was just crafting a thin layer of appearance. It took me time to realize that I shouldn’t fear failure. Instead, I needed to acknowledge my weaknesses and leverage those around me to improve. In doing so, I not only got better, but I also gained the trust of my team.
Lessons in True Excellence – If you’re constantly worried about looking good, you’ll hesitate to take risks, admit mistakes, and endure the necessary struggle that real progress demands. You’ll avoid the discomfort that forges actual strength. You’ll prioritize applause over mastery, perception over performance.
But if you commit to being good, you’ll be tested. And in those trials, you’ll develop the kind of resilience and capability that can’t be faked. You’ll build something real and lasting.
Here are a few reminders for those on the journey of real excellence:
Do the Right Thing Anyway: The hard choice is usually the right one. Make it.
Expect Resistance: Growth isn’t smooth. Struggle is proof you’re progressing.
Mastery Over Applause: Validation is fleeting. Real skill endures.
Set the Tone for Others - We all know the temptation to present a polished version of ourselves. That’s why it’s important to:
Recognize Real Effort: Acknowledge people who value integrity over image.
Encourage Depth: Help others focus on long-term excellence rather than short-term optics.
Lead by Example: Show that being good is worth more than just looking good.
I believe most of us are inherently good, so let’s focus on being authentic and allowing that goodness to shine through. Not all of us will show it in the same way—some will be more charitable, others will uplift those around them in quiet ways. What matters is that we each find our own way to be a light in the world.
Final Thoughts Do you want to be impressive, or do you want to be undeniable? One fades with the trend cycle. The other endures.
Additional Resources and Thoughts •
Book: Poor Charlie’s Almanac – Peter D. Kaufman – Buy here
Munger dared to be different and go against the grain. Never worried about what other thought of him with an steadfast and unwavering focus on what he and Buffett were building.
Podcast: Founders – "#376 Jensen Huang: Founder of Invidia" – Listen here
Stoicism of the Day: "First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." – Epictetus
True excellence isn’t an accident. It’s a choice, reinforced daily.
P.s., I wrote and re-wrote this one a few times. Hopefully, the message came across clearly, but if not here is the TLDR version: Don’t worry what people think of you and be a good human. Don’t be an asshole.